Ros' chemo is to change

Well it might seem like I'm jumping all over the place but don't worry. I will be going forward and backwards tring to get all the relevant information in. Anyway, needed to say that Ros changes to a new Chemo drug. This one has the side effect of hair loss. Ros says she's OK with this but thinks she may get a wig just to make everyone else feel OK. I remember when Delta Goodrem had her Hodgekins Lymphoma and was having treatment... she wore a lovely wig with such a great cut to it. Ros got her hair cut this weekend. Guess that's her last trip to Dana for a while. Anyway, I guess that's a notable mark on the calender "The Day Ros Becomes A Blonde"!

AN EMOTIONAL HEALING QUILT

It has just occurred to me... the healing powers of a quilt. I think Bryce needs a quilt as a tangible sign that people care about him. That he has worth and that we are glad that he is recovering. So we will make him that quilt to show him that we love and care for him. I think because a lot of 'old men' get prostate cancer, people dismiss it or somehow normalise it. But Bryce is a younger man and men his age generally do not get struck down with prostate cancer. Bryce is a person who has always had that driving force within him to be a healthy person. Because his dad died at the age of 56 from a heart attack - Bryce has always ensured that he would not smoke, would not eat the wrong diet that could lead to a heart attack, and that he would keep himself at a healthy weight range by (diet+) exercising well. (of course we love cake, pizza, pies, chips, chocolate) - they are an occasional part of our diet.) Bryce has weights and he walks/ runs to keep his cardio function in top gear. Never had Cancer come into the equation. I think he and we ask ourselves "WHY". But then you can also say, why not. Cancer strikes indescriminately. 1:8 women gets breast cancer. That's a massive high figure. Why? And other people get other things that drastically change their lives. So the process of making him that quilt will help to say "You are important to us".

Bryce Home from the hospital

Bryce came home from the hospital on the Friday. It had been a challenging previous 6 months and he was now embarking on his recovery phase. Dr Woo said that Bryce could make a recovery back to normal within 6-12 months for most people. One thing he assurred Bryce was that there was no Cancer found at "the margins" which means that the risk of spread of the cancer was nil. The cancer was incapsulated or 'contained' and the removal of the prostate gland meant that Bryce was safe. However, now there was going to be an adjustment to life without a prostate gland. The urethra was cut during the surgery and was reanastomosed so that meant a catheter for some time. It came out within a week or so. Bryce was "on his own" and was recovering pretty well, but we were prepared for the fact that there might be an "accident" or two. Fortunately there were none, really. But that's the retraining of the bladder and the pelvic floor muscles. It was great that Bryce knew a couple of other men his age who were going through the same thing. Good to be able to "compare war stories". Also encourage each other. I think over time nursing has pushed me to be more of an "out there" kind of person. I will talk about stuff. Maybe that comes with the female job description. You talk things over. Men are not that way. They don't talk. They keep things inside. I, for one, have difficulty embracing this concept and am always trying to encourage Bryce to TALK ABOUT HOW IT IS FOR YOU. And sometimes he does. But he is a quiet man and keeps a lot inside himself. So from here on in it is recovery phase.

CHEMOTHERAPY begins for ROS

We googled these meds to know how they were going to help Ros as well as the possible side effects. I may not spell them correctly, but the 2 chemo drugs were OXALIPLATEN and AVASTIN and they had to be administered slowly. Ros decided for her first lot of chemo that she would be admitted to hostital. At Ringwood Private, they have a beautiful ward upstairs. We had previously looked over this ward as "anticipatrory guidance"" for what was going to be the next step. It was quiet and peaceful. All single rooms and big rooms at that to allow families a bit of space. Carpet on floors and a very serene feel abvout the place. Not your normal bustling ward of a hospital. We were comforted by this fact. So Ros was an inpatient for her first dose of Chemo. She would have a pump attached to her PIC line. The PIC line was to be a permanent attachment, and it would need to be flushed between sessions to keep the line patent. Ros would need to have a blood test in between times to check her levels and see that everything was working well. She was on fortnightly chemo. Dr James would see Ros regularly. Dave was not far away up the road at home. Thank goodness for mobile phones. You are never far away from a friend.

1st DECEMBER 2009...

The day before was all the prep for surgery. Bryce said it wasn't too bad really. He went quietly about his day. Relaxing. Reading. And a trip to the ensuite :)
In the meantime, we went to see The Australian Ballet's production: A triple bill. I always like these. Normally there are 3 different ballet styles. My favourites are usually the modern ones. There are so many flexible athletic dancers. The lighting is often as much a star as the ballet and the music. The set designs are often amazing. I wonder how they come up with the ideas. And sometimes, Dunc is playing. Dunc was playing tonight: a duet or at least 2 pianos at work. His playing is always good - we are so proud of him. The 1st December comes and Bryce has to be at the hospital by about 1 pm. Bryce made a comment which stayed with me. He said "This may be the best that I will ever feel". We were rushed into saying goodbye - no time left. Bryce was wheeled off to the anaesthetic bay. I spent hours and hours waiting. Often when I have a huge chunk of time to fill in, I'm excited. Time is a wonderful gift, and I never have enough time to achieve what I want to do within the time frame. Today was different. Bryce was having a major op to remove his prostate gland. The anticipated surgery length was supposed to be about 4 hours, plus 1 hour in recovery room = 5 hours. Bryce was going to intensive care post surgery because they wanted to monitor his heart closely. It was 10 to 9 pm when I entered Coronary Care. I was supposed to hear from Dr Woo when the surgery was over, but I never received a call. So I didn't know how Bryce was or whether there were any complications. However, he seemed really comfortable and looked well. There was lots of tubes going here and there plus the cardiac monitor, O2 etc. We chatted for a while and then after an hour, I said goodbye and headed home. This day was over. Now recovery time...

A PATCHWORK HEALING QUILT

Di is a mad keen patchworker and she has produced some lovely hand made patchwork articles. We decided it would be a great idea if we all played a part in a patchwork quilt. Di quizzed Ros on her favourite colours, and within a few days she produced a parcel of a variety of gorgeous fabrics. Apricots, Mauves and Blues. We all had to learn how to patchwork, so were given materials and patterns to work on. I'm working on mine in Sydney whilt Ros and Di are working on theirs at quilting days in Croydon. I never knew patchwork could take so long to do one square. I am slow in comprehending how to read a pattern. So I went extra slow so as not to make a mistake. "I'll just whip up these 9 squares today", I thought. But the reality was that it took me about 3 whole days to do. And you had to be in a patchwork mindset. Well, over the months the Quilt has grown. Ros and Di have put it together but it is not quite finished yet.Just a few finishing touches. Now we are starting on a Birthday quilt for Mum. She got the material for her birthday from Di. Pretty pinks and lilacs. Photos will be posted when quilts are finished :)

BRYCE and his next journey

Bryce needed to have his heart tested so it was organised for him to wear a Halter monitor for 24 hours. This would monitor his heart's activity over that entire period. Then about a week later he would hear the results of this. Bryce was supposed to go about his usual activity. He wore it to work (he was still working full time at this stage). He had received the results of the biopsy and that was that there was indeed cancer present in the prostate gland. The good news was that there was nothing too sinister about the Heart. Occasionally his heart rate would drop to 32 BPM... this was while he was sleeping. The cardiologist told him that one day he might need a pacemaker but for now, his heart was doing OK. He had to report any signs of light headedness or giddy sensations immediately. Dr Woo basically told Bryce that the best option for him at his age would be to have a radical prostatectomy. He went into detail as clearly as he could so that we understood everything. Bryce was reading lots on the subject now, including some very positive books on diet and health.
So we made the move towards more organic produce. We rediscovered WARRA in Dural - a Steiner school for the disadvantaged where we could buy most of our green groceries. Supermarkets seemed to stock more and more organic produce. We got some new cookbooks to inspire us. And embarked on a pretty healthy diet. We love Greens Organic Chocolate, as a treat.

Ros... HOSPITALS and HEALING

Ros was hospitalised at Ringwood Private, and the decision to go there seemed like a good one. It was close to home (Croydon) and easy to get to. The planned aftercare would involve blood tests, scans and fortnightly chemotherapy - all at the hospital. So it was great that it was so close to home. The environment at the hospital was very supportive. The staff there seemed to be pretty caring from the medical team to the domestic staff. The flowers and cards that arrived daily for Ros and the frequent visitors meant that Ros was surrounded with care and love. Ros made a good recovery day by day. Discharge around day 10 followed by a few weeks of recovery at home before Chemo began. With all the new information about treatment, we blessed google for answering our many questions. Ros trusted all her medical team : Dr Greene, Mr Izale and Dr James. She and we knew that she was in the best hands. The love of Dave and Merlot at Unit 10 would help to keep her spirits ever high. Mum would visit most days and help out where she could, and the rest of us were doing our bit to be there for Ros and Dave too. The next leg of the journey was about to begin.

THE BIOPSY and THE AFTERMATH

"Just a simple routine proceedure. Should only take about 30 minutes". We go to Dr Woo's Westmead rooms. There is a bit of a wait. But we reassure ourselves "that's because he takes the time with everyone. No rush". Finally it's Bryce's turn. I don't go in with him. I respect his privacy. Bryce is in there for some time, so I continue with my reading. A little later, Bryce slowly walks down the hall to sit in the waiting room with me. Donna, the nurse helping Dr Woo is doing everything. Helping him/ talking to the clients/patients/ processing the payments. She has a full job. She calls Bryce. No response. I nudge Bryce or at least look at him. He is unconscious at first sitting slumped and then he collapses on the floor in the waiting room. Oh, says Donna. He's fainted. Some men do that after this proceedure. She summons Dr Woo. He comes. "probably a vaso vagal reaction to the anaesthetic. But Bryce takes a long time to come round. When he does, he's pale and weak. His pulse is weak too. I ask Donna is there somewhere Bryce can lie down to recover, and together we help Bryce back to the biopsy room and onto the skinny couch where Bryce had just had his biopsy. They leave us. They now know I'm a nurse and feel it is safe to leave me caring for Bryce. Donna pops in every now and then. So does Dr Woo. It is 30-40 mins later. The entire time I am taking Bryce's pulse. 32 beats a minute. I ask can we do an ECG. "Yes - good idea" "While we're at it can we do Cardiac Enzymes" I ask. Donna replies that these days they can do a Trytophan(?) level which is better. The ECG declares that Bryce is in Heart Block. A decision is made to send him to Westmead Hospital by ambulance. To cut to the chase, Bryce is triaged, spends time in A+E and is then transferred to Coronary Care where he is continuously monitored. His heart has reverted to Normal Sinus Rhythm now, but they want to watch him closely. The girls are all summoned at B's bedside having come from McQuarie Uni, Woollies Cherrybrook, and Orange Base Hospital. Then we all go home leaving B in CCU at Westmead. He is discharged home the following afternoon with plans for followup, e takes the rest of the week off work.

Where do I fit in to all this?

I'm just the wife, just the sister. I'm here to help. It's fortunate that I am a nurse because I am able to navigate the health industry. I'm also calm. I'm not de-sensitised. But I'm pretty calm. Of course I am as normal as anyone else and I cry tears. Tears for Bryce. Tears for Ros. And tears just for me. I know my role. It comes naturally, which is probably why I am a nurse. I want to be involved. I can't watch from the sidelines. I can't do any of the healing. But I can be there. To talk to. To help in whatever way - practical or emotional. I'm lucky that my daughters are all grown up. Laura 26, Gem 22 and Grace 19 at the time. But the news about both Bryce and Ros hit them all pretty hard.
I go down to Melbourne to help Ros after her surgery. She's in hospital for about 10+ days. The first few days are in the High Dependency ward at Ringwood Private hospital. Then into "the best room in the ward" Room 1. Ros made a great recovery and returned home to Croydon to rest and to heal before the chemo started. Not long after I got back to Sydney, Bryce is booked in to see his specialist for his prostate biopsy. Now that's an interesting story.

Ros' Story

Correct me if I'm wrong but here's the story that I know. Ros had been feeling 'a bit off' since the beginning of the year. She'd seen her Doctor on and off but nothing significant could pinpoint why she didn't feel so well. Then late May '09 she went to see her Dr but he was away on holidays. She saw a different Dr (same surgery) who took her complaints fairly seriously and decided to do some tests. Ros' health has been pretty good through her life. A few ops including an appendicectomy when she was late 20's and a cholecystectomy not long after she got married to Dave. From being a fairly sporty person, life became a little more restricted after her knee started to give her grief in recent years (probably a new knee is on the cards in the future). So our new Doctor organised an ultrasound. Following the results of this she had a CAT scan which revealed a very "speckled" liver. This looked suspicious and so a colonoscopy was organised. The results of this revealed Cancer of the Colon, with suspicion of secondaries in the liver. Ros is such a calm person. It's just step by step through the process. So referrals were made. First to Mr Izale (hope my spelling's correct) - he was the surgeon. Second referral was to the oncologist, Dr James (I think that's his name) and on with the process of healing Ros.

Bryce's story

Bryce was only 56 when he went to our local Doctor for a lingering respiratory tract infection. The doctor did a basic blood test, just a full blood count, to see that everything was normal. Then he scheduled a followup visit to discuss the results of the test the following week. "Everything's normal and within normal limits except your PSA". So Bryce came home and reported the news. He was being referred to a urologist who would do further investigations. The appointment was for a few weeks time. we waited, and soon that time came about. We both went to meet the urologist, a local man in our area. We met. He investigated. He calmly (but a very detached manner) stated you have Prostate Cancer. He told Bryce his options. We left the surgery and went to chat over a coffee. We both agreed we didn't bond with this man and if he was going to be the man responsible for healing Bryce, then we didn't want him. We'd look elsewhere. We went about enquiring about "who's good" and heard the name Henry Woo several times. So we organised a referral to him and within a few weeks we were sitting in his waiting room. Everything felt more positive once we met Henry. He gave us great hope. He had a lovely bedside manner. So the next step was a biopsy. That was booked for a few weeks' time.

What this is all about

I guess I need to introduce the concept of this blog "A Life Worth Living" which I have been thinking about for a while and which formalised itself whilst I was on a long bus ride home from Melbourne (to Sydney) last Sunday. The older I get and the less years I have left in my life - the more I value this wonderful life. About the same time last year, sister Ros was diagnosed with Cancer which was spread from the original site (bowel) to secondary site (liver), husband Bryce was diagnosed with prostate cancer. These two people are around the very same age. The journey ahead was going to be challenging, to say the least. They are two of my favourite people.