So, how does this all effect me?

Well... the cancer journey is for those who are diagnosed with their condition and for all those family and friends who stand by. So, yeah... it effects us all. I guess more than anything it reinforces the value of a day... so no day is wasted. Everyday is a conscious effort to be the best you can be, to be as positive and calm as you can be, and to derive satisfaction and happiness in as much as possible. No time should be wasted on useless negative stuff. I'm learning about meditation. I'm taking it slowly. I have difficulty keeping still and quiet. Too quiet and I fall asleep. I'm easily distracted. I'm reading a book about The Tao... daily readings. They are excellent. I'm listening to Eckhart Tolle CD. They are all saying the same thing. Be quiet. Be still. Let go and let God. And all that helps. I recognised that should capitalise on my artistic ability, so I'm drawing everyday. Of course I'm blogging. That helps. I'm trying to keep a broad range of interests. I try to give +++ in the workplace. I try not be "all work and no play." I'm aware of recognising the essense of everyone that I meet daily so that no one is overlooked. Sometimes that is hard. Especially if they are in a crabby or negative mood. It's a life and living journey.
I think it's changed me somewhat into being a calmer person. It's acceptance of what is and what is not. I have little aspiration for wealth or power. I value health and happiness. I appreciate good food - healthy food for its healing powers, and delicious food for its taste and presentation (especially if Bryce prepares it). I love tete a tetes for the connectiveness that the opportunity provides. And there's always great subject matter to draw wherever you go. The journey continues.........

Bryce and his morning routine.

Bryce has a particular routine that he likes to stick to, most days of the week. Occasionally I give him breakfast in bed. He loves having B-I-B but only trouble is that he end up staying in bed longer than he'd like. So if he can, he'll beat me to the post, and get up for breakfast. Some relaxation and some meditetion, some inspirational reading, and a healthy post breakfast smoothie. He often makes me my lunch to take to work (if I haven't beaten him to it). Then exercise... either cardio or weights work. Weekends are slightly different, as we like to go somewhere for a tete a tete. He also has his food shopping day. Lately he's been spending a lot of time pottering in his vege patch. Wow, it's been a great winter crop. This is a photo of B outside a cute little cafe in Windsor. What's in the bag? A deliciously moist chocolate brownie. Home made by someone. Organic 75% of the time. Indulgent 20% Other 5%

Gimme a head with Hair.

Ros' new chemo was known to have a side effect of "hair loss". For some, probably for most people, the hair loss is immediate. For others - it's more gradual. Ros is probably finding that she is in the latter catagory. She says she's getting sick of "all the mess" with hair loss happening bit by bit. How does she feel? She's comfortable in her own skin, and accepts that this is part of the treatment. However, Di is taking her to Chapel Street to look at "hair". I won't be seeing Ros til October, so I may not recognise her. She may be blonde, or a redhead. Here in this pic, Ros and Dave are relaxing at Mission Beach at the little cafe on the beach. Ah... that was a nice day.

BRYCE is settling into this life at home... 24/7

A life of Organic Gardening, wholesome cooking, reading, house keeping and an interest in "a little bit of everything"... this is Bryce's new life. Oh, and healing from surgery and "moving forward"... (as per our esteemed Prime Minister). Yep, this is Bryce's life as we know it. He is planning his little mini break. A golfing weekend in Hawk's Nest followed by several days travelling north to Ballina and back home again. I'm looking forward to hear how Bryce's new 5 iron and 6 iron go. Big Bertha irons "on special" at the Wentworth Golf Pro Shop in Orange ($5 each).

Ros deals with the new Chemotherapy

Ros started her new regime of Chemotherapy a few weeks ago. IV Campestar and oral Zeloda. The IV Chemo caused nasty nausea and vomiting, so much so that Ros needed to be admitted to hospital for a few days as she needed rehydration. The oral Chemo all went well. No side effects to note. However, Ros began to notice that her hair was thinning and falling out... not in great clumps but just a generalised loss per day. Ros thinks that she will get a wig... not so much for herself, but so that she doesn't have to deal with other people's reaction to her hair loss. Di will take her to look at hair next week. Stop press... Ros had a second course of Campestar (the IV chemo) ... it was a reduced dosage. And it all went well, with no side effects.

Sunny days, organics, and A2 milk

We are eating an abundance of organic greens from the garden now. So many delicious snap-fresh snow peas, some broad beans, kale, cabbage and silver beet. PLUS yesterday I tasted our carrots. They tasted good. Juicy. Flavoursome. Not too sweet. And there are plenty. Bryce is concerned he should be planting the summer crop. The winter crop was so slow in coming. Now it's here. And we have to eat it all. But now is the time to start planting tomatoes, and other summer salad items. I have been hearing a bit about A2 milk. A lot recently from Bryce. And then on a few you tube videos, information that there is a lot of coverup from the dairy corporation. A1 milk can cause a whole range of diseases including diabetes, autism, and intestinal conditions. Our milk used to be all A2, but then there was some changes in dairy farming and A1 arrived on the scene. Certain cows only produce A2 milk (the good milk). I also found myself that A2 milk doesn't go off as quickly as other milks. I've got a 2 litre container of fresh A2 milk (tastes great) and it's already a week over the expiry date. Interesting!! Anyway, it's great to be able to have fresh veges available anytime. I LIKE THAT. Don't know why we left it so long to do this. Bryce is re-reading a library book we also got out last year by a Dr Neil Barnard (... no, not Bryce's old work colleague) and it's all about the healthful eating. It's called "The Cancer Survivor's Guide".

Life is definitely well lived in the springtime

This wonderful bout of spring weather is energising. What a long cold winter it's been. I think having that little warm sojourn up Far North Queensland accentuated winter when we returned and it was almost like having 2 winters, punctuated by a week of spring. To welcome in the season was a new addition in Ros and Dave's life. His name is Dougal, and I am looking forward to meeting him when I'm next down South. He is a schmoodle (so many cuts hybrid breeds now) - designer dogs, they're called. There's not one breed that's unattractive, as far as I know. A little pup around R + D's place will liven things up a bit. Little puddles here and there. But to all accounts, he's sleeping at night, and in a little while, he'll be starting puppy preschool. I think he's a pretty lovable little pup already. Nothing like the unconditional love that only a canine can give you. Sweep certainly loves spring because there are longer periods when we're all outside together.

CAIRNS/ Mission Beach/ Winter escape

Ros and Dave left Melbourne for the warmth of Townsville on Sunday July 11. Bryce and I flew to Cairns on Tuesday July 13. Ros and Dave drove northwards on Tuesday while Bryce and I boarded a Greyhound Bus southwards from Cairns the same day. We coincided at Mission Beach mid afternoon on Tuesday for what was to be our winter escape, and our week at this gorgeous and peaceful coastal getaway. Ros and Dave met us at the bus stop and drove us around 7km to our lovely house with unobstructed views of Dunk Island, and the everchanging blue sea. What can I say but this was truely an idyllic holiday destination, and we had looked forward to this for many months. Ros and Dave had booked this holiday for the same time last year, but because of Ros' surgery and subsequent chemotherapy, it had to be postphoned for a year. This was to be a week comprising of busy days, quieter days, morning strolls along the beach, beautiful sunrises and serene sunsets. There would be rain too. Not just a pitter patter, but massive tropical downpours.
Bryce and I fell in love with Mission Beach and entertained the idea of actually moving there to live permanently (as you do when you're on holidays). So far, we haven't taken one more step towards it. It was just a holiday whim.

Goodbye Laura (Japan) Hello Gemma (Orange)

Saturday 9/11 or 11/9 (depending on where you come from) was the day Laura chose to fly to Osaka, Japan. Her plan is to spend 12 - 18 months there. She has been working towards this day for around 2 years (probably a little less). Bryce and I drove to the airport with her at around 4 am in order to catch the 6am flight. We were all calm and enjoying our last coffee together for awhile.
Laura left. (but we will speak to her in the evening - thank goodess for SKYPE). Bryce and I then drove to Orange. Our last trip to Orange was 18 months ago. We had not seen Gem's new abode yet. So this was a long overdue trip. We brought the perfect weather with us. Orange has had a long and particularly cold winter, so the warmth of the sun was welcome. A brief breakfast stopover at Leura at a lovely little deli/cafe. Hmmm! Hot chocolate. Then onto morning tea at Orange. Gem's house is really nice. Neat. Tidy 3 bedroom house which she has furnished really tastefully. Morning tea in the sunroom. Coffee and walnutty bun/cake, fresh from the food market.
Gem's back garden was bathed in sun, and the chance to get washing dried by the sun was a rare treat. Lunch out at a healthy cafe (delish pea "n" ham soup) for us. A tour around Orange. Then back to Gem's place. Late dinner at a new restaurant (Asian inspired) and then home (Gem's) to chat to Laura (skype) and then to sleep. Next morning, sunshine again. Breakfast at a local popular cafe with Gem and Ro. Then a trip to a local winery for some sampling of their grapes...(and a purchase). Then pies for lunch at the Orange Botanical Gardens. And then the long drive home (3 hours). A really packed full weekend... it was lovely and it felt like a few more days than it really was. Home to Grace :)

Ros feels well, again

Ros is taking an oral dose of chemotherapy every day. She takes a couple of anti nausea meds each day too. And she is feeling so much better than she did a week ago. She has projects waiting to do with her Enkidu work. No time to be sick! She's been taking things easy. Dave's been looking after her. They are soon to be new parents. Now that the fences are being replaced, they are able to think seriously about getting a dog (and if all that goes well, a cat too). They've researched the breeds. Still not sure yet. But they've seen some cute ones. Now to find a name... (hey, they're really cute pets! I want one;) )

BRYCE needs some time and space to reflect

It's been a very busy last 14 + months for Bryce. He first learnt that he had a elevated PSA in June last year. Then he learned that it was probably cancer. Then he learned that he had an underlying conduction disorder in his heart and that he would maybe one day rely on an external cardiac pacemaker. Then he learned more about prostate cancer by reading several books. Then he underwent the radical surgery. His words to me pre-op were "This may be the best that I'll ever be in life". He had a great post-op recovery (though full recovery takes time...). He toyed with the idea of an early "commencement" (not retirement). A time to have a quality life in a more relaxed manner. Reading. Gardening. Meditating. Housework. ... to begin with. But it seems now that he is entering Chapter 2 of his brave new world... "The next step forward". Bryce realised that he needed to be doing more with his life now. He needed an outlet. ?voluntary work, ?golf, ?a new found hobby/interest. We realised that even at home, you can get so caught up in "busy work" that you're still not finding that quintessential essence of life. So Bryce is going to have a holiday for a week or so. Travelling. Stopping awhile. Pausing. Reflecting. And looking forward. He's looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to it. A journey. An adventure. And I'm looking forward to his return... with his stories, his reflections, and his enthusiasm for life.

ROS IS HOME AND RECOVERING

Ros feeling a good deal better so was discharged home from hospital last Sunday. A new chapter in Ros' recovery, as she is taking on a new chemotherapy regime. Perhaps a few new sensations, perhaps a few different feelings. But the aim is just to knock off the cancer and bring Ros' body back to good health. It's a balancing act. Getting the best result in health and having the fewest number of side effects. Ros' team is there ... working for eradication of ill health and restoration of health and harmony.

SPRINGTIME

Springtime means longer days and shorter nights. When you wake in the morning, it's light. When you knock off from work, it's still light. It energises you. You feel like sitting outside and soaking up some sunshine. Ah... that's when the wind doesn't blow, but stays at bay... resting. A new season. A turning page. Turning a corner. A fresh start. A new adventure....

New CHEMO/ Ros returns to hospital

Ros had her regular and ongoing tests, as well as her followup with Dr James (her oncologist). He felt that a new chemo regime was warranted, with different agents. This was only if Ros agreed to try this. She agreed, and the new chemotherapy happened on Wednesday... the first day of Spring 2010. The day after chemo is usually a quiet day for Ros. She normally has a headache, and lays low on that day. This Thursday, Ros was particularly nauseated, and vomiting also. She was in no mood to talk on Thursday afternoon. She felt "pretty sick". So much so that Dave took her to Ringwood Private hospital on Thursday night and she was admitted for rehydration. IV fluids and anti emetics helped to restore Ros' health to a far more tolerable level. She was feeling a good deal better throughout Friday and began to eat a small amount. Still in hospital on Saturday. Her IV was removed. She was HUNGRY and eating again. Still in hospital, awaiting Dr's review. On the phone, she sounded a lot chirpier. We will be seeing Ros again in 3 or so weeks' time.

BRYCE and his winter vegetable garden

Bryce had been reading and learning about organic gardening for 12 or so months. Actually, we have had a vege garden for several years, but now Bryce was trying to ensure that what we ate was organic. It's hard to go completely organic, - some things you just can't get organically grown. Grace got Bryce a subscription to ORGANIC GARDENING mag, which comes out bi monthly. Bryce read and read. Last Christmas, Bryce (and I ) got 3 organic gardening books - all different. So Bryce read a lot and took his time to get the preparation as right as he could. We now have 3 organic garden beds on the go and 2 herb garden beds happening. This year's winter crop took a long time to establish, so until August, we were mainly buying all our Organics from Warra, in Dural. (Warra is a Steiner school for special needs people and they have a large organic garden and a retail shop. We used to shop here years ago when the girls were young, but your habits change over the years). Bryce grew his vegetables and herbs from seed, so hence they took a lot longer to establish. Now, as I look out the windows, the gardens are a sea of green. Get up close and personal and there are current crops of snow peas, silver beet, spinach and kale. Other crops are still growing but not ready to harvest. Herbs are mainly corriander, 2 x parsley types, dill and ?something green. I must admit, winter has been so cold that I have rarely got out in the garden. But now spring is here I will. Got to say, it's nice to walk outside and find fresh greens at the ready to eat.

Escape the winter blues

Ros and Dave had planned a winter escape to Mission Beach, QLD before Ros found out she had cancer. Because Ros needed to have surgery fairly quickly, followed by chemotherapy, there was no way that they were able to get to their holiday escape in 2009. So they did their homework and found a way to give them something to look forward to. Light at the end of the tunnel. So they postphoned their holiday til the same time in 2010. The owners of the Mission Beach property were happy to swap dates, and so the Mission Beach Escape was booked for July 2010. As Dave had already booked his holidays from work, he was able to use that time on the home front... helping with Ros's recovery from surgery. Other things were happening simultaneously. Dave's boss also needed surgery for cancer, and so did Dave's Brother-in-law (in NZ). So cancer was flavour of the month. It was at this time that Bryce was diagnosed with prostate cancer - but he postphoned surgery til later in the year. (we found out that Geoff Cooper, a friend, also was diagnosed with prostate cancer at this time). A holiday in FNQ. That sounded wonderful. We asked to tag along on this adventure in 2010, as it would give us some tanginble thing to look forward to too. More about Mission Beach in a later installment.

Bryce digs his garden

Bryce was undecided about whether or not to return to work following his recovery. Bryce worked in Auburn at CFCU, and had left work on sick leave for his operation. But time to think about life choices as he was recovering from the operation. Bryce found so much that filled in his day while he was at home. Exercising, meditating, reading, and household chores - shopping, cooking and the like. Bryce is a great cook. Far more interested in recipes, presentation, and healthy meals than I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm interested - but I'm not "passionate" like Bryce is. Meals is a ritual you do at certain times of the day. When you're in the right frame of mind, of course it's stimulating, and rewarding. But sometimes it is just a chore! So, we both decided that for Bryce's next journey - he'd resign from work and stay at home. Making that decision was liberating for both of us. We knew where we stood. Bryce had his hobbies: mainly to do with gardening : growing organic vegetables and herbs, but also reading and creating delicious meals. In many ways - it was I who was the lucky one. I had myself a resident gourmet chef. I'd come home from work and I'd smell this gorgeous aroma coming through the house to greet me. We do eat well. And lunches are always tasty too. Usually I do the breakfast prep and give Bryce Brekky in bed. That's my food contribution:)